Where The Hell Is My Cushy Rehab???

I'm a smoker.

Therefore....

I'm an addict.

Did you hear that correctly? ADDICT. Not the devil, not a horrible person hell-bent on ruining your dining experience. Not a person who waits to get to the *outdoor* train platform to light up just so I can ruin your glorious 'waiting around for the train' experience. Not a person who wants to torment you as you sit in a smoke-filled bar whilst you suck down the only other legal drug in America which leads to death just as much as cigarette addiction does. I am just an addict struggling with the hold that nicotine has on me. A hold which, as stated in medical studies, has been found to be WORSE than heroin.

Where then, is my fucking rehab?

When people have an addiction that is anything but nicotine, there is rallying support and sympathy of the poor, unfortunate souls that have lost themselves on the dark road of addiction. Heroin, cocaine, crystal meth, alcohol, hell, even SHOPPING addicts get interventions and all kinds of help offered to them. We get a fuckin patch to keep us from being completely intolerable during our physical withdrawl period. Thanks a whole big bunch. And to add insult to injury, the patch, gum, inhalers, accupuncture, hypnosis, auricular therapy, zyban, etc. are NOT cheap. Many insurance companies still do not cover the cost of medications for smoking cessation, and two weeks worth of patches can run upwards of $60. Yes, yes, yes, I know what you are already saying. "But at least it beats what you will pay for cigarettes if you quit." NOT THE FUCKING POINT.

Society in the past ten years has turned us into lepers because of our addiction. While I appreciate being in a theatre/hotel/restaurant/whatever that is not saturated in cigarette smell, I also appreciate that there are still venues that are PUBLIC and should not be policed because non-smokers hate us with a bloody vengeance. The push in the past decade has been to eradicate smoking everywhere possible except inside your home. There are even laws which make it illegal to smoke on your own front porch, as that is considered public domain. If such freedom-imposing laws were aimed at people for other reasons such as - you are ridiculously ugly or deformed, you need to keep your elephant-man ass in the house - they would never be passed, right? Of course not, because it is ridiculous to transform your HATRED of someone into a law that reduces your basic civil liberties.

Open-air, public forums should not be deemed smoke free by any law. The smokers have EVERY right to enjoy that forum as much as the non-smokers, and these types of laws clearly show bias toward one groups preference and liberty.

I am getting off track a little bit here...I have a lot of steam to blow off. Back to us being a pack of leprotic, unsalvageable creatures from the pits of Hades....

Where is the compassion from the public, to me, as an addict? My addiction is no different at all from the types of addiction that put people in rehab for 28 days. They get lake-side therapy sessions, ducks, gazebos, entertainment halls, yeah, I've seen the movies. It's all cushy and chic to be in rehab and your friends and family are only all too happy to support your quest. I don't even so much want to go away for 28 days, cuz those rehab people smoke like chimneys and that would just make it crazy hard for me to quit. I just want some of the same public support they get. You know as well as I do that those struggling with alcohol or drugs get sympathy, support, understanding and help. What we get is more along the lines of "oh god, can't you quit that shit already"? Unless you are a smoker, you can't conceive of the power of nicotine addiction, and having the people that love you tear you down for it is humiliating and degrading and above all, useless. Hurtful words, admonishment, lack of understanding and sympathy only make us want our comfort drug that much more. We shrink into our dark, shame-filled holes puffing away wondering what is so terribly wrong with us that we CAN'T just up and quit?!?

You non-smoking hypocritical bastages can't have it both ways. You can't turn the tables and make it a smoke-free planet and yet not offer the nicotine-bonded any help or even appreciation for what it is we go through. Is it so much to ask that instead of doing that annoying ass little "ah-he ah-he" cough when I light up in PUBLIC, you shut your god damn trap until you are ready to help me on the road to recovery?

A little human kindness and understanding is all we are asking for. We don't want to hear "soooo...have you thought about quitting at all??" or my fave "you know those things will kill ya?" REALLY GENIUS??? Oh my god, you are such a fucking scientist to have that kind of highly-guarded, little-known fact in your huge cavernous brain!

I am an addict searching for support in a smoker-hating world...and I suggest you give it to me, cuz if you think I'm a bitch now, just wait till I am cigarette deprived.