Why Jesus Thinks You're Dumb

A friend of mine showed my blog to his wife. I happen to find both of these people to be extremely intelligent and down to earth, and value their opinions. After viewing my posts, and of course praising them as genius (oh shut up), she pointed out that some may be offended by the title I chose. "Jesus Thinks You're Dumb" - credit to E for suggesting it to me!

If you are the type of person that is immediately taken aback or offended by what most would call a *sense of humor* then this is obviously not the blog for you. If you have read anything up to this point, you will notice that the trend is for me rail against those who have such a tiny little cranium and inability to see possibilities outside of their 2 square feet of comfort zone.

I think Jesus must be shaking his head constantly as he watches humans exhibiting the greatest extents of their own buffoonery. I think that if any of us could watch ourselves at a distance, we would see what complete retards most of us are. We lie, cheat, hate, kill, torture, steal...sometimes in the name of god, and sometimes just because we are too high on ourselves to see anything beyond fulfilling our own selfish desires. We rape the earth, we squander with reckless abandon, we shut each other out...because we can't see a bigger picture than ourselves. We do all of these things, and more, even though we have more capacity to love, understand, help and hope than any other creature on the planet.

If that isn't retarded, I don't know what the fuck is.

I know we have the capacity to do great things, to overcome tragedy with grace and dignity and love. We have the innate ability to stand together and put the needs of the greater good ahead of our own. Even if only for a moment. I know this is possible because I have been a witness to it. I can look back at one point in my own history and remember what it felt like when we were not at odds with each other. September 11. I don't pretend to know why the attacks happened, how they happened, or who made them happen. Right now, I don't care. What I do know is that as I watched the news, and saw those towers go up in flames, watched people jumping out of windows, watched the panic and terror of those close to the devastation, time stood still. In my own city, we were all evacuated and sent home, and as I drove, the streets were eerily quiet and deserted...something I have never seen before living in a major metro area. It scared the shit out of me. I had flashes of The End, and couldn't think straight enough to know what I should be feeling.

That day, everyone was glued to their television, and if they were anything like me, they were gathering up with as many friends and family as they could. We sat and watched the events unfold, always with the thought in the back our minds, it could happen to us at any second. There was such a hush across the city. I live close to the airport, and the absence of planes flying overhead was noticeable and terrifying. There were no trains zooming by, there were no cars with angry motorists wailing on their horns, there were hardly any people on the streets at all. It was just quiet.

For about two or three days after, it was more of the same. But as people were coming out, and life was resuming, there was a drastic change in everyones demeanor. I wasn't being cut off on the road, I was given a yield with no problem when I needed to change a lane, I was hearing 'please' and 'thank you' everywhere I went. Complete strangers were saying hello, or waving. There was a general attitude of helpfulness coming from most everyone I came across. People no longer had the constant air of discontent and hostility...those typical behaviors were replaced with a very strange sort of calm and enlightenment. I was literally marvelling at what was happening, and at the same moment thinking to myself "it really sucks that this will end".

I knew that it was just a matter of time before we all slipped back into our comfortable complacency, and the days of Love Thy Neighbor would be just a memory. I felt a crushing sadness from that realization...knowing that I have just seen the magnitude of what we are capable of, all the while knowing that it couldn't possibly last.

We were, for such a brief moment, the amazing creatures that I believe Jesus always hoped we could be. Whether Jesus is the son of god, or was just one outstanding guy trying to hammer some common sense and love into peoples' heads, I have no idea. I fully appreciate his messages even without subscribing to Christianity. His messages were about love, tolerance, understanding, faith, charity and hope, so it seems to me he is a pretty good guy to look up to. I don't recall reading anything that said: hate each other, kill each other, rape each other, or do whatever you damn well please so long as it benefits you.

So I'd be willing to bet that...

When you call yourself a good Christian, and then hate someone for being a homosexual, Jesus thinks you're dumb.

When you treat others like shit to make yourself feel bigger, Jesus thinks you're dumb.

When you have kids and don't do everything possible to be a great parent, Jesus thinks you're dumb.

When you hate someone just because of the color of their skin, or the faith they practice, Jesus thinks you're dumb.

When you have the ability to help another person, and you waste it, Jesus thinks you're dumb.

If everything I just said offends you, then you are the person this blog is written about. I suggest you just move along and go find an inspiring mommy blog somewhere...you can hear all about the trials and tribulations of being a middle-aged fat chick with three bratty kids no one can stand except her (oh they are such ANGELS!), and how she is currently dealing with her new prescription for Prozac. You can go and find some bad online poetry, talking about misty meadows and forget-me-nots. Go wherever your delicate constitution won't have to be assaulted by my words, because I really don't give a flying fuck. I am not here to make you feel warm and fuzzy or adhere to what you think is ok to talk about. I am here to vent my frustration and aggravation so my husband and friends don't have to hear so much of my shit.

You got a problem with that? Well then kiss my big ole white butt. Pucker up buttercup!